El Jefe. Jamaican Jerk. X-Hot. Spicy Peanut. Bourbon Chipotle. Sauce of the Month. No, they aren’t my ex boyfriends, they’re just a few of the sauces available at Fire on the Mountain on Burnside in Portland. Hey-oh! Ahem. I’ve never seen so many fancy sauces in one cupcake pan at once, man. If you’re not the adventurous type, you can dip a celery stick in a sauce and taste before you buy. I think they should do that at every restaurant, especially where they serve desserts, because sometimes you just want a liiiitle taste. Whenever we’re in Portland, there’s one restaurant that James insists on going, and that’s Fire on the Mountain to get his wings and sauce on. Me, I generally like the idea of wings, because it’s meat. On a stick. Deep fried and dipped in sauce. Doesn’t that sound like the perfect food? But most of the time when it comes right down to it, I’m not in the mood for saucy sticks of meat. But that’s ok, FotM serves a ton of stuff other than wings to be a wing place that serves great wings. They even sell meatless wings, which shouldn’t shock me, but does.
Actually, I’ll always remember FotM to be the first place I ever had a VooDoo doughnut. I don’t know if they were actually serving the deep-fried twinkies and Oreos at that time or not, but they had a cake plate full of VooDoo and I tried a bite of somebody’s maple bar. True story.
When you visit the joint, one of the first things you have to understand is that you’ll need to order and pay first, get your number, and then find a seat. This sequence of events always makes me nervous because the place is always packed. Forget about a Saturday or Sunday when sports are playing on the big screen, because damn. I didn’t know people in the Pacific Northwest actually ate wings and watched sports in public places until I visited FotM. Since little kids are generally running around, it’s not exactly like the sports bars back east, but it’s trying.
They even sell jugs. And will fill it with beer. I know!
One of the cool things about ordering wings is that for every six you order, you can pick a different sauce (up to four per order). They cost about a dollar a wing and for every half dozen more you order, the price shrinks. But not the wings, because the wings are stinking huge.
And they’re served on frisbees. With celery and your choice of ranch or blue cheese. These have sweet bbq sauce and I believe the ones in the back are lemon-pepper.
But before the wings are delivered, be sure to try the tots.
Sweet potato tots (basket $5). Who knew?! They tasted like little tiny soufflés, they were so rich and puffy. Good, but you only need a few.
The house salad with blue cheese crumbles ($3.5). Could be so much better if they gave it some tomato love, but still tasty.
Spicy peanut chicken tender salad ($8.5), for the healthy-minded chicken-eaters.
And if somebody at the table doesn’t want wings or salads, FotM serves a mean fish sandwich ($8).
The last time we visited I was on the wrong side of a 24 hour virus, or there’s no way I would’ve walked out of the place without trying a deep-fried Nutter Butter. But I’ll be back. Oh yes.